But as her property she is the one to decide that and I am the one to accept it her way.
Dear diary, today my lady surprised me by saying she was going on a road trip with her friend and said she told me already. I thought that was a month away and think Im going to have to get another note book to keep up with her plans. I guess today I will just relax before I start my new job on monday seeing it sounds like I won't have much time to do that after starting this job. She did mention yesterday that I might have gotten the job because I was wearing my lucky panty hose, maybe she was right. She even mentioned me wearing my panties and as always and added that I should wear hose as well when I start monday. I hope she doesn't push that requirement though becuase working construction makes it really hard to hide when climbong all over the place. It could be worse though as she could make me wear them and lock me in chastity as well but I hope not. She also surprised me when I was kidding with her about my plans since she would be away today. I told her that since it is today and not next week I had to make some phone calls to tell everyone today was the party instead of later as thought. She told me that was ok as long as I wasn't alone with any girls. Guys would be ok but no alone time with other women. That really made me think about it and wonder if she was suggesting it would be ok with her if I was here alone with other guys because she thinks I wouldn't want that or if it would be something she would allow because she would like to do so as well when she got home. That isn't something I expected her to say and now know my place as far as that goes I think. She has played with other to a lesser extent before and I know from our rules that I am not allowed to play with or even meet others without her permission. That would really upset her and I would never do that but if shes wants to play with others like in the past I have no problem with it. I know my place and that is above all others, be it as I am her sub and held closer then anyone else. I think even if she found another I would always have a special place with her. I'm sure if she had another sub here while she was gone we both would be locked in chastity for the day and kept busy with her list of things to do while she was gone. Then again maybe it would be another man to watch over me and me being the only sub in the relationship. Either way I'm sure I wouldn't be able to be lazy and take a nap and rest all day awaiting her return home. Only my Lady knows what she meant or if she was kidding or not.
Dear diary well I think the job search is over and I found a much neeed job starting Monday. After weeks of searching and disappointments maybe I can start helping my lady with the bills again around here. It has been a month and although I have come up with a little bit of money it hasn't been much. Maybe now that will change since this job pays alot more then the last and they are working alot of hours to boot. I was beginning to think nothing would ever happen and how unfair it is to her. I already can't keep up with her in the bedroom and since losing my job haven't been doing my part with the money. I know she loves me very much as I do her and this is our house, but I still have thought of her getting tired of it and finding someone else to take my place. I wouldn't blame her if she did after all it should be all about her and if I ain't doing the job I would want her to find somene to do the job I wasn't. We have a wonderful home and like she has said it is our home and that won't change. That doesn't mean she should be denied and all. I have thought lately about what if we rented out one of the spare bedrooms to someone who also is a sub and that way she could have two people to meet her needs and not to mention make me a better sub by adding choices and compitition to our relationship as well as share in the bills. Then again if that was to happen she might not want another sub like me but another dom type guy to just take my place since she seems to not want to go through this again. She might not want to share the house but that would be ok with me and either way she would have a sub to help around here or a dom who would never denie her needs and I probally would be alot better at living up to my end of the rules to boot. That would be better then getting kicked out and going through life without her. Hopefully now I won't have to findout now that I have a job after all this time.
Dear diary, Well yet another day of job searching and still no luck. One interview only to be told they have a few more to make and will be in touch. I have talked with a bunch of different people today from different places and got some more leads but that's it. I really wish something would happen and happen like yesterday. I'm sure my Lady would like it as well to help out with the bills. Hopefully something comes up soon. She has mentioned me not working and she has too as well as gave me a spanking the other day that left my ass very sore. She mentioned that since I am not working that I should do more then just waiting untill right before she gets home to look busy. She told me I denied her again but to my defense it was 4 am and I don't even remember doing it. While over her lap though was not a very good time to aurgue with her. Then again there is not anytime that is good for that. If I was to aurgue with her it might be worse with her putting me in chastity or her getting out a whip or something no matter how much I cried. I ought to be glad it only happens once in awhile and I am not expected to have a much stricter regiem to follow.
Dear diary, well nothing new on the job search although yesterday I did hear of a prospect about one. I guess I will have to wait untill after the holiday to findout though. I hope this works out and I can get back to work soon. I like being employed and besides I don't make a very good house keeper. Not only is the income needed but if I was to be the maid of the house then we would need alot more discipline and training to make that work. I might have the uniform but my skills are very much lacking when it comes to that. Maybe if I could have a list with certain things to do with the task it would be better. But then again that would probally mean an excuse for much more sticter rules as well. With given so much leway I don't think my Lady is up to that and that is fine with me. I am just so lucky to have found a Lady to not only share my other side with but also demands it. I am the luckiest gurl I know, even if I don't know many others. She expects me to dress as her gurl and I have been doing a much better job lately I think and also not wanting to face any discipline, not denieing her her gurl when she wants to play as well. I know she has no problem with grabbing her paddle and have faced even worse before, so I don't want that and so I try my best to do as she says. Everything she does to make me feel owned and hers is appriciated and the dressing and such reminds me that she cares and accepts domino. So everything she wishes me to do as her gurl is taken seriously and just glad she doesn't mind the occasional seat left up on the toliet or make me paint my nails and wear a dress to go to the mall.